I am sure we have all been there. The dating scene is hard, you think you have met this great guy, but the more you are talking the more things start to not add up. I think as girls, we are optimists, we think that we are over analyzing things or that we can change him and make him better. Sure there are exceptions to the rule but these red flags should not be ignored. These guys will not lead to a healthy relationship.
The “I love you” guy
You’re amazing why wouldn’t he fall in love with you after only two weeks. Right? Wrong! He commits way too early and while it feels nice to be loved, he has a made up a complete fantasy in his head. He just wants to be in love, for whatever reason, maybe he is tired of being alone or he is insecure, only time will tell. The quicker he falls in love the quicker he can fall out of love with you.
The “I will do anything to make you happy” guy
He is afraid of confrontation, so he says that he will do whatever you want to make you happy. He showers you with gifts and is always more than willing to do whatever you want, but he never talks about his true feelings and he keeps everything bottled up. The problem with this is that he is not being true to himself, so you are not really getting to know him. You can’t fall in love with someone that you don’t know. In the end, he will resent you for all the things that he has given up to be with you.
The “my ex did me wrong” guy
Oh you’re ex is crazy, or you drove her crazy? When a guy has a weird break up story that does not add up and he is blaming it on his ex, this spells issues. There is no way the last seven girls he dated all had the same issues. This guy does not know how to work things out. He won’t talk to you about his problems because he is emotionally unavailable. This means when things aren’t peachy keen, he won’t deal with it, he is going to bounce! He is looking for the perfect girl and the perfect relationship, but he can’t find because it takes work. Time and effort he is not willing to spend. He would rather start out fresh. He hasn’t had a healthy relationship and you’re not going to be his first one.
The “I’m just friendly” guy
This guy is slicker than slick. He says all the right things, he is all smiles at waitresses, sales associates, random girls on the street—well every girls in sight. When you asked him about it, he says he is just friendly. He will text you but then when you go to call him he presses ignore and texts you back “saying he is out with friends”. This guy is running game over every girl within a 5 mile radius. This isn’t a Big Pun song, he may say he does not want to be a playa no mo, but his actions speak for themselves. He says you’re his number one when you should be his only one. He is the bigger better deal guy, he can’t commit because he feels like he is missing out.
From the emotionally unavailable to the way too emotionally available, these guys have things they have to work on. You can’t change them; they have to come to terms with their issues on their own. I know it is hard, I have dated all of the above and even though you know better, there is that inkling that maybe you will be the one to change them. In the end it is just wasted time and wasted energy. Until these guys figure out their issues, they are no one’s type. If you meet someone you feel is really special, it is better to keep them in friend zone until they are ready for a real relationship.