he Doctor is in for the first time to give relationship tips, insights, and the occasional rant. Please take note that I’m not all knowing and I envy and acknowledge the phenomenal relationships that made it in one go.
This first article is a touchy topic on Long Distance Relationships. I’ve had some of my own, and man I wish I Googled tips for them before. Whether you are in a long distance relationship that spans cities or even countries, it is a very very difficult type of relationship to be in.
I would argue that the biggest factor in having a chance of “succeeding” (if one could label it that) a long distance relationship is each partner’s love maturity. The X-factor in long distance relationships is how long you’ve shared a close distance relationship with one another. The reason why this is an X-factor is that as time goes on, this factor lessens in it’s effect or it could endure.
Before you continue to read “5 tips for long distance relationships” I implore you to think rationally on your decision to embark on this tiresome journey. As I’ve stated above, love maturity for both partners is vital for a long distance relationship to survive. I’m not just talking about Man Vs. Wild survival, where you drink piss, but walking to Mordor and hiking up Mount Doom barefoot survival. Love maturity is not only how strong the love you share with the other person are, but the mindset of each partners maturity when it comes to relationship issues. For example, if this is your first relationship, going into a long distance one is only going to end in pain. How can you be so certain that you can make it, when you had no experience with other close relationships?
I personally had to end a relationship, because I knew that prolonging it with little chance to see each other again, was unfair for both sides. The time we had together was awesome and definitely unforgettable, but why stain it with a painful ending? We stuck out till the end and with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces, we said our final goodbyes in the airport.
If none of this dissuades you from your decision, I applaud your resolve and wish you both a successful long distance relationship!
Establish The End
Before you begin your long distance relationship, establish what the end goal is specifically. Just saying “we’ll see” will only garner mistrust and frustration later on when the passion clears and you’re left wondering what’s going to happen. Sit down together and create boundaries and a specific goal for the future.
In Us We Trust
You have to be ready to be in a long distance relationship, you both have to increase your trust with the other. Sure it’s easy to do now, or to say so now, but you have to brace for the future. Spend as much time with each other before the other leaves. Both sides in the relationship should be honest with each other all the time. I would advise to throw jealousy and doubt straight out the window. It’s easier said than done, but blind trust on both sides will make long distance relationships last.
Defy the Distance
There are tons of stuff to do while in a long distance relationship. Laying on your bed mulling over the fact that she/he is gone will only create anxiety and shorten the long distance relationship. Keep yourself busy by hanging out with preferably same sex friends, (opposite sex friends I’ll write about in the future), exercise, take up a hobby, and become involved in extra-curricular activities. There are tons of clubs or volunteer opportunities in your university. Step out of your shell and make great experiences you can share with your boyfriend or girlfriend later that night with Skype. Check out this website for 99+ things you can do together over the phone or internet. It’s Awesome!
Make sure to establish how often you will talk with each other and how. Make a regular schedule to talk online Skype. It’s 2011, buy a web cam if you don’t have one already. By staying busy during the day, you’ll always have something new to talk about. Many websites recommend talking everyday, which is ideal, but you need to realize that sometimes the other person might have had a busy day or is tired. Nonetheless, a skype conversation, MSN, email, and even regular post mail can keep things going.
Always remember the feeling you had in the beginning of the relationship when things get more difficult. Always remember that long distance relationships aren’t going to be forever and that eventually you’ll be in each others arms again. Before they leave, give them a reminder gift. It could be a t-shirt with your cologne, a stuffed animal, or something that they can hold when they miss you. Finally, remember why you decided to get into a long distance relationship in the first place. He or She was the one back then, weren’t they? The longer time passes, the harder it is to remember the passion or the reason, but keep reminding yourself and you’ll succeed.
This article seems to be more of a warning, but I truly hope the 5 tips helps you on your long distance relationship. Check out this and this for more tips and Google it! With hard work, who knows, maybe you can create something special!
Until next time, Dr. Wooo out!