August 29, 2013

A Cruel Fairytale: He Is Just Not That Into You

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Written by: Recultured Team
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As a child, I believed faithfully that love is a true fairy tale, in which lovers will always be deeply devoted to each other: Lovers are always as happy as Snow White and her Prince. However, as I became more in contact with the cruel reality, I gradually started to realize that real love stories don’t look like fairy tales at all. Love is often a long and hard process in which people struggle with choices. Unfortunately, many people choose to compromise their own happiness and intelligence in order to gain little love. People are blinded by the dream that everything will eventually workout like a fairy tale, and their partner will never leave them again if they do enough; Their lover will love them more, if they become a different person., living in their belief that their lovers will eventually change.

Image via (fanpop.com)

Image via (fanpop.com)

Here are a few signs to a deteriorating relationship, because I believe love is truer when you know the reality. These are not signs to destroy an unhappy relationship, but the beginning of finding a true love story.


If you feel that something is wrong, take a step back, and just look at the situation.

5 Signs that you should look for another relationship.

Reluctant to spend time with you

Image via (tazman.myblog.it)

Image via (tazman.myblog.it)

Translation: “If s/he wants to be with you, s/he will come for you.” This might sound very cliché, but it is human nature for people to pay attention to things they like. If he has time to make up an excuse for not being there, then he also has time to call or reply by text message. With the motivation of “love”, lovers often choose to believe the most ridiculous excuses. In the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, Gigi would rather believe excuses like, the guy’s grandma died or he got into a car accident. People refuse to believe that excuses can be caused by the diminishing of love, or that their lovers chose other interests over them. When someone doesn’t want to put time and effort into a relationship, it simply means that they don’t care much to do so.

Breaks up with you several times


Image via (soundoflife.net)

Translation: If he decides to let you go, then it can only mean he no longer wants to be with you. He might have other options, and you are only one. Don’t let this pattern continue. If he decides to play the breakup game, save him some trouble, and remove yourself from the competition. There are many other worthwhile things to do, rather than being torn up over this unworthy relationship.

Encourages you to see other people


Image via (wikihow.com)

Translation: This doesn’t mean that he thinks you deserve better. Love is selfish, and people always want to be with the person they love. If he encourages you to find another people, then it can only mean he doesn’t want to be with you. He wants someone else to replace him, so he doesn’t have to go through all the complications with you.

Doesn’t want to marry you/doesn’t plan to have a future with you


Image by 2009 Jo Christian Oterhals CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Translation: If he doesn’t put any effort into having a future with you, it means that he doesn’t plan to have a future with you. It doesn’t mean that the time is not right or that he is not ready after x years of dating. He wants to choose freedom over marriage with you.

Married or dating someone else


Image via (rayli.com.cn)

Translation: He might tell you about how much he detests his wife or his girlfriend, but the reality is he dates or marries them over you. You might think that marriage is not important in a relationship, or you don’t mind being involved in a love triangle. However, there is a difference between you don’t believe in marriage and he doesn’t want to marry you. He needs to keep you around, either as a back-up or ego-booster. Anyhow, he doesn’t plan to replace his wife or girlfriend with you.

Last Rule: Be that happy person

happy-sponge-future-wives-of-spongebob-9518085-1024-768 (1)

Image via (fanpop.com)

Translation: Many people choose to degrade their own worth and stay in a relationship because it is more comfortable than going through a break up. However, with the courage to change, many people will realize all the wonders they are missing out on while worrying over an unworthy relationship. Join a new club, make new friends, learn a new skill, or plan a short vacation. These are all much happier activities than being depressed over a relationship. The right person always comes along while you are being yourself.


Featured Image via (pickthebrain.com)

About the Author

Recultured Team
Recultured Team
This is where you'll find the blog posts that the team has contributed to collectively! What team? Wildcats! -Nope, wrong team. Recultured!

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